


I Don't Know What I Am Without My Demons, But I'll Purge Them Anyway

by BreakTheDawn



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Tony Stark, Basically I Try to Fill In the Blanks Between CW and IW, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Gen, James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark Friendship, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Mental Health Issues, Post-Canon, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Scott Lang Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Unreliable Narrator
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-07 04:11:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19201633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreakTheDawn/pseuds/BreakTheDawn
Summary: "Despite what you seem to think Barton," Tony's voice is somehow disdainful and exhausted at the same time, "I am not this all-encompassing force that the world bends to accommodate."Clint is just about ready to call bull on that, because he's not so naive to believe that anyone but Tony Stark could have made this deal happen -directly or indirectly-, when the man continues speaking."I could be though," Stark says, expression going dark for a moment. "I could make the world want to bend for me, could force it even if it doesn't want to. I'm not that good of a person, it's tempting some days to just ruin you all, if only to remind you just who you're dealing with and why it's a bad idea to make an enemy out of me."Clint stares, at a loss for words."But," Stark smiles suddenly, looking both manic and..weirdly fond? "There's someone new in the picture now, the light of my life really. He thinks I'm a hero, and I fully intend to try and live up to that."Or.Peter brings out the best in Tony, and the best in Tony decides that two fathers deserve one last chance to be with their kids and Vision deserves a shot at happiness.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Not gonna lie lol, I'm particularly nervous about stepping into this fandom.
> 
> I've always wanted to do an Avengers fic, but I chose to wait until after Endgame just to see where the characters ended up in canon. I've always found myself curious about the transition from Civil War to Infinity War and how the characters ended up where they are at the start of the latter. The fact that a lot of it happens off screen is understandable, given the scope the MCU tries to cover, but frustrating nonetheless. So I decided to try my hand at it.
> 
> This is first and foremost a fic about healing for Tony, because in my honest opinion, the MCU is pretty damn cruel to him sometimes. I have no intentions of character bashing here, but it should be known that Tony does not regard Team Cap very favorably in this work. I'm trying to portray a believable reaction by someone with deep-set trust, paranoia and anxiety issues in response to not just the events of Civil War, but every other thing in the MCU that I imagine Tony dwells on but doesn't really speak about. So this fic will be hard on the other Avengers, and will feature quite a bit of Protective/Supportive Peter and Rhodey (because that's my jam), but Tony's goal in the end is actually to help them out, so if that sounds like it's for you, then welcome!

In the end, it’s a random conversation the kid that ends up making his decision for him.

 

“Do you ever think that you’d be able to move on from Iron Man?” Peter asks, and Tony’s mind goes blank for a split second, because _where the hell did that come from?_ And then he remembers that they had just been talking about potentially giving May Parker limited access to Karen in order for her to keep a closer eye on Peter’s patrols. 

 

“Aunt Hottie ask you to give up the suit lately?” Tony guesses, not looking up from where he’s currently trying to rework the joints in Rhodey’s braces. The man would never say anything, but Tony’s noticed how they stall from time to time on declining surfaces. 

 

“Not like, obviously,” Peter murmurs in response, “but it was pretty strongly implied.”

 

“And you’re asking me about Iron Man because…?”

 

“Well, Ms. Potts wants you to give up the suit still, right?” Peter asks.

 

“That she does, kid.” Tony says quietly. He doesn’t like to think about it much. Iron Man only participates in missions nowadays to provide back-up to Spider-man or War Machine if necessary. And since Rhodey generally brings along an Accords-approved task force consisting of top agents from a crap-ton of lettered agencies, that really means that Tony only dons the suit to bail Peter out of trouble when it becomes clear that he’s in over his head.

 

This suits (ha!) Tony just fine, because as reluctant as he is to admit it, he’s not in much shape to do the Iron Man thing as consistently as he used to. Keeping up with the gym and his martial training only does so much in the face of age and the disaster zone that is his sternum and pretty much everything in and around it. And the fact that he’s not often needed beyond repairs and updates to the War Machine Armor or Spider-suit is something that Tony takes solace in. And it certainly makes Pepper happier, nowadays, that the worry of her fiance dying brutally in battle is diminished to a certain extent. 

 

“But no, to answer your question,” Tony says honestly. “I don’t think it’s possible for me to give up the armor.”

 

It’s not the answer that Pepper would like. It’s not the answer that May would want him to give. It’s not the healthy answer, not the answer a proper mentor would give. It’s not the optimistic answer, not the type of answer fit for an impressionable sixteen-year old. But, as Tony thinks of Afghanistan, of the Arc Reactor, of Vanko and later Killian, of Ultron, of fucking Rogers and his _followers_ , it’s the honest answer. 

 

“I tried,” and damn, did he try so hard. “I tried to give it up for Pepper, but I couldn’t.”

 

The argument they’d had that lead to the break was brutal. Because it wasn’t even about Tony stepping back into the suit, he hadn’t done that until after the break up. It was about him still dealing with SHIELD and the Avengers, albeit at a distance by that point because he’d been admittedly more than a little burned by the fact that no one had tried to check in on him throughout the entire debacle with Killian except for Bruce (and even Bruce failed in his checking in by falling asleep when Tony was trying to explain the situation to him). Pepper had been endlessly patient and kind with him when he didn’t really deserve it, but sometime after neutralizing Extremis from her and before that whole fucking disaster that was the SHIELD info-dump and the Helicarriers (nice fucking work, Romonav. Tony couldn’t really expect Cap to understand the nuances of just how dangerous an idea that was, but he’d expected better from the super-spy.), they’d both come to the unfortunate conclusion that Tony wasn’t happy. It turned out that he only felt safe when he knew that he had an active hand in making the world safe, and not feeling safe had a terrible effect on his productivity and mood. His refusal to go to therapy had been what did them in finally.

 

“Is that why you two were on a break when we met?” Peter asks curiously, and it dawns on Tony that the kid can’t possibly know much about Tony’s past beyond what’s been made public. They get on intensely well because of Peter’s intellect and his startlingly high level of empathy, which has resulted in the boy being able to simply infer most of Tony’s ticks and quirks just by watching him. (And the main difference between Peter and Romonav is that his intern is always predisposed to see most of Tony’s actions through a positive lens while the opposite is true with Natashalie). 

 

“Yeah,” Tony responds, because it’s easier to talk about now that they’re no longer on a break. “But if you’re worried that you being Spider-man will fracture your relationship with your Aunt, then stop worrying, because there’s no way that’s happening.”

 

There’s a pause long enough that Tony takes his eyes away from the hologram in front of him to look over at the kid. Peter’s staring back blankly, but doesn’t seem to be very focused on Tony’s face.

 

“How can you be sure?” the kid’s voice is small, and Tony aches inside because he knows how it feels to want to desperately please someone he loves, only to realize that the way to do so would feel like cutting away a central part of his very being. Peter shouldn’t have to feel like this. Hell, Peter _doesn’t_ need to feel like this.

 

“Because you’re you, kid.” Tony says simply, “You’re the best of us, and I know that you won’t let it get to that point, suit or no suit.”

 

Not like Tony, who’s always lived to please, existed to innovate. If it wasn’t Howard when he was a kid, then it was Stane and SI when he was an adult. And then the Tony who lived only to do those two things died in Afghanistan with Yinsen. So Tony who lived to atone was born, because he’d pleased the wrong people, innovated for the wrong reasons, he had to fix it. And then that Tony died up in the wormhole. So the Tony who lived only to protect was born, no matter how unfit to be a protector he was. And then that Tony died with JARVIS. So the Tony who lived only to fix was born, because he’d failed so spectacularly at trying to protect the world that he ended up almost ending instead, but that wouldn’t stop him from doing what needed to be done to fix it, because if he couldn’t be happy in protecting this world with the looming threat from the cosmos, then he could at least fix up the world so that it would be in a position to protect itself. And then that Tony died multiple times over. With Bruce leaving without a trace or a word, with the Accords forcing him into working alongside that snake Ross if only to make sure that someone kept an eye on him, with his so-called family spitting in his face over his latest  attempt to make things right in the world, with that fight at the airport where Roger’s camp couldn’t be bothered to pull their punches like Tony and his allies were the latest threat to the world or something, with Rhodey’s legs (god, Rhodey’s legs), with his mother in that damn video, with Roger’s shield crushing his chest and the man walking off like he’d done nothing more than what he had to do and leaving him there.

 

The Tony now is a weird amalgamation of all the rest, and whether that’s a good thing or not remains to be seen. He has perspective now, at the very least. If he falls asleep due to acute exhaustion then he won’t dream of fire and death and Roger’s shield smashing through his ribs into his heart and lungs. If he works on Rhodey’s braces then he doesn’t feel like the biggest failure that’s ever walked the face of the Earth so much. If he continues to tweak the last bit of Extremis he has then he’ll remember a time when he felt like he mattered to Bruce. If he continues to sit in on the amendments to the Accords then he won’t think about how he consistently lets people he shouldn’t trust live in his house and use his resources. If he keeps quietly keeping track of enhanced individuals throughout the States and keeps an eye on the upcoming bill that will allow them to have their identities remain secret so long as they agree to notify the proper authorities when they work, then he won’t think about the sightings of the Rogues near old Hydra Bases. If he continues to have an amicable correspondence with King T’Challa about the Accords and potential security collaborations, then he can just ignore the fact that there’s only one place in the world where the Rogues are completely untouchable and untraceable. 

 

“You have a lot of faith in me…” Peter murmurs, seeming uncomfortable. It breaks Tony’s heart to the kid doubt himself like this, because Peter has been through too much at his age, some of it a direct result of Tony’s own poor decision making. Still, the boy is somehow still better than Tony could ever hope to be. Which is why he knows that the Spider-suit isn’t going to break the kid’s relationship with his Aunt.

 

Because Peter is kind and empathetic and _good_. And unlike Tony, he’s in complete control over the trajectory of his life still. Peter has options, even if his unflinching sense of responsibility leads the kid to believe otherwise. He can take a step back and not feel like he’s going to die or doom the world by doing so, because even though he’s been through too much, knows too much, has too much power for someone his age, it hasn’t broken him like the wormhole broke Tony.

 

Because if there was ever a time where Tony would have been able to give up Iron Man, then it would have been before he saw what was beyond that portal, before he encountered Loki, before he learned that Earth was in danger and he was the only one with enough firsthand experience to take the threat seriously. Peter is still going to school, still excited about science and going to college eventually, and regards his patrolling and his eventual induction into the Avengers and an important job that he’s best equipped to do, but a job nonetheless. Peter doesn’t see Spider-man as his life, as the only thing in this world that he has that’s truly for him and no one else, not like how Tony regards the armor. (And Tony knows that Peter doesn’t see the Spidersuit as his life, because if he did, he would not agree to the restrictions and stipulations both Tony and May have placed on his patrols.) And Tony will protect that to the end of his days, he will do everything is his power to keep Peter from having something put the kid in the position where being Spider-man will jeopardize his personal relationships.

 

“Yeah I have faith you kid,” Tony shrugs, “But I also have faith in myself,” which is quite honestly a lie, but Tony wears this mask particularly well when talking about protecting someone he cares about. “I’m gonna help you through it all, suit or no suit.”

 

And that’s what gets Peter’s eyes to light up and a small smile to curl on his face. Because for some reason the kid has and unwavering sense of faith in Tony. He thinks that Tony is capable of pleasing, innovating, atoning, protecting and fixing and then some despite all the evidence that Tony has shown to the contrary. And while Tony’s not sure of what he’s done to earn said faith, he’ll be damned if he doesn’t try his best to live up to it.

 

“You know,” Peter grins, “you’re not as bad as you seem to think just because you won’t give up the armor.”

 

“Oh really?” Tony arches an eyebrow, eager to see where the kid is going with this. He knows that he’s about to be compared to one of the Rogues, because that seems to be Peter’s go to for joke material nowadays, because he knows that it will prompt a completely inappropriate laugh from Tony without fail (but only because it’s Peter. Not even Pepper or Rhodey can broach the topic of the Rogues without sending Tony into a foul mood.)

 

“Yeah,” Peter says loftily, “at least you don’t have kids that you skip out on randomly to fight for no good reason.”

 

That startles a cackle out of Tony. It’s completely inappropriate for him to laugh at that, to encourage Peter to continue making jokes about very real problems just to make a joke at one of the Rogue’s expenses. But it seems to be just as cathartic for the kid as it is for Tony. There’s not many things that prompt Peter to go all solemn and angry, but talking about any of them does the trick unless they’re laughing about them first. 

 

“I guess you’re right about that,” Tony manages between giggles. The idea leads to a spiral though, because of all the things he has to question about his old teammates and where he went wrong in deciding to trust them, he’s most confused about Barton and his motivations.

 

He doesn’t dwell on it then, instead opting to close the hologram displaying Rhodey’s braces and moving over to help Peter whatever extensive calculus workload he has for the day. But the idea is planted. And one of the byproducts of being a genius means that planted ideas don’t just go away. 

 

So later that night, as he’s scrolling on his tablet through articles on the internet regarding the individual people on Roger’s side of the whole Accords disaster, he finds himself wondering just many times Hawkeye has died inside during his career.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first saw Civil War in theaters, I was actually a bit underwhelmed. Coming from comic canon and seeing the Accords Vs. the Registration act, I personally didn't see that the intensity of the issue matched any of Team Cap's reactions other than Steve himself. I was very neutral at first, though I did note that Tony was not nearly as shady as he was in the comics, in fact I would argue that beyond not directly telling Wanda why he was keeping her in the Compound, he wasn't shady at all (and even that could be attributed to just a lack in good judgment as opposed to actual malicious intent). Upon further reflection though, I found that I couldn't quite get behind the way the movie handled things.
> 
> I think I would have been OK with it if the movie didn't go out of it's way to frame Tony as an antagonist when Steve was on screen. Because the movie doesn't do a good enough job of pointing out when Steve is making a decision based on flawed logic or biased emotion. In fact, he's mostly rewarded for most of his questionable decisions while Tony's decisions (beyond the Wanda thing and the Spider-man thing) come off as very reasonable yet blow up in his face spectacularly. And it's totally fine with me that Steve seems to be rushing into his decisions in this movie based on emotion, and it totally makes sense why he's wary of the Accords given his character arc, but I think that his character flaws are mostly glossed over in the MCU and never actually end up causing him trouble, but Tony's flaws, Thor's flaws, Bruce's flaws, even Peter's flaws, pretty much everyone else's flaws fuck them over all the time. So yeah, I suppose I'm Team Iron Man, but like I said, I'm not here to bash on Team Cap, but I do think that their actions don't really hold up under scrutiny.
> 
> And another thing that I should point out just in cases it may bother any readers, I do not take the interviews and staff commentary as the laws of canon. I certainly like to consider it, but I honestly prefer to take what's been directly depicted and headcanon my way from there. So no lol, I do not buy that Iron Man was seriously trying to kill Bucky Barnes at the end of the movie. In fact, I'd even argue that based on what we saw, the catalyst that started the entire fight was Tony learning that Steve knew about it but didn't tell him. I firmly believe that if Cap and Bucky didn't try and fight back and double team him, that Tony would have maybe raged at Barnes a bit before telling them to get lost and out of his life.
> 
> Wow, ok. Sorry lol. Didn't mean to go on and on. This story isn't even going to feature Cap or Barnes. Won't have Natasha or Wilson either, most likely, because they seem to get to IW through their own means and not through official channels. Honestly, this is pretty much an excuse to try and salvage Clint and Tony's friendship, because I think the way Clint acted in Civil War was absurd. Scott and Wanda kind of just latched themselves on for the ride.
> 
> Anyways, I will attempt to update soon, but this was a bit of an impulse post so I can't really guarantee when that will be, but this should round out to about six chapters? Stay happy and healthy and see you next time!


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Any slight you feel that they paid me, kid,” Tony explains quietly, “it’s important to remember that I gave as good as I got.”
> 
> Peter takes a harsh bite of his demon food.
> 
> “The rules aren’t the same when you’re outnumbered, Mr. Stark.”
> 
> Tony opens his mouth, closes it.
> 
> There’s...nothing that he can say to that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome Back! 
> 
> I don't have much to say that wasn't already said in the notes from the first chapter to be honest. 
> 
> I feel I must reiterate though, we are still seeing this story from the point of view of characters that are critical of Team Cap, so keep that in mind and also keep in mind that this is eventually supposed to be end with everyone coming to an understanding, if not a reconciliation.

“You’re doing  _ what  _ now!?” James doesn’t mean to yell, but he really can’t help it.

 

“You heard me, Honey-Bear,” Tony responds, voice soft over the line, but resolute. 

 

“Humor me,” James huffs, dragging his hand over his face as he tosses the newest copy of the Accords across the bed. There’s no way he’s getting through it tonight.

 

At least the hotel room is nice, an upscale suite in Vienna where the Accords Council has chosen to convene for this next round of talks. It’s just what he expected when he found out that Tony was involved in organizing his trip, unnecessary and extra, but still accommodating and thoughtful. This particular hotel was easily wheelchair accessible, for when James’ back couldn’t quite bear the braces.There was an herbal hot tub out on the balcony that he’d snickered at when he first saw it but then quickly changed his tune when he used it the first night. Tony had even set James up with a physical therapist in the hotel’s gym every morning and night. 

 

His best friend. His extra best friend. His extra best friend who still somehow managed to be one of the most thoughtful and sweet people that James has ever met. The same best friend that’s extending that kindness to someone who very much doesn’t deserve it.

 

“I’m going to bring Barton back to the States,” Tony says again.

 

“Yeah,” James sighs heavily, “that’s what I thought you said.”

 

Tony says nothing, giving James a second to collect his thoughts. Which is nice, because damn, does James have a lot of thoughts.

 

The first thing he thinks is  _ No, not again. Not Tony, not them, not  _ again _. _

 

Those fuckers  _ ruined  _ Tony, and his best friend has been doing so much better these past few months, and they’re going to ruin him again.

 

“Tones,” James says tiredly, “Tones,  _ why _ ?”

 

Because Tony doesn’t need to do this. James has never been too keen on how that so-called team operated, and he was even less keen to hear just how badly they treated his friend in the wake of that whole Ultron fiasco, no matter how culpable they believed him to be. And now Tony is finally free of them, finally has a chance to build a new team and support system from the ground up, and he still wants to help  _ them _ ?

 

“Rhodey…”

 

“I mean, come one man,” James says, hating how desperate he sounds, how desperate he feels. “You’re really gonna invite that dumpster fire back into your life again?”

 

“That dumpster fire  _ is  _ my life,” Tony says with a dry chuckle. James hates the sound of that laugh. “You and I both knew that we couldn’t just turn a blind eye on them forever.”

 

“Not dealing with them when they’re not our responsibility is not turning a blind eye, Tony.” James states firmly, “It’s just us going about our lives and doing what’s best for us.”

 

“Oh Honey-Bear…” his best friend says solemnly, “You know we can’t just do what’s best for us now, anymore.”

 

And James knows that. Hell he understands that better than most. He definitely understands better than those assholes. What he doesn’t understand though.

 

“I don’t see how that makes you responsible to do what’s best for them,” James states plainly. “Tones, those people are toxic. You could be done with them, you’re allowed to be done with them.”

 

There’s nothing quite like the feeling of failure that come with James not being able to protect Tony. He couldn’t protect him from the Ten Rings, from Stane, from AIM, from the Chitauri, from Ultron. Hell, James couldn’t even protect Tony from himself sometimes. He’d never thought a day would come when he had to protect Tony from the other Avengers though. Sure, James didn’t like how they got their start, he didn’t always like how the team treated Tones, and he’s more than once wished that his friend would just go solo again (because at the end of the day, there’s nothing more powerful than a Tony Stark who’s decided that enough is enough), but he’d always been cautiously optimistic that they would have his friends back.

 

Of course they stabbed him in it.

 

“I am done with them,” Tony responds seriously, which gives James pause. Because he friend sounds legit right now. “I...if I never have to see any of their faces again, it’d be too soon.”

 

“Then why are you going out of your way to help Barton?”

 

“Because I’m worried that him and I are more alike than I realized,” his friend responds, “and I can’t sit by while he puts his family through what I put Pepper through. He can’t make amends if no one gives him a chance, and you and I both know that no one is going to give him a chance if not me.”

 

James bites his lip.

 

Tony is  _ nothing  _ like Barton. They’re cut from completely different clothes, and even though under different circumstances, James thinks that the two could have been very close, the fact remains that Barton is just like the others now. Which means Tony doesn’t need to have anything more to do with him.

 

Still, he can see where his friend is coming from. And of course he’s making this decision out of guilt. At least it’s not guilt towards the Rogues so much as guilt towards Pepper, but it’s guilt nonetheless. Well, guilt and sense of decency that James is convinced is lost on Rogers and his band of assholes. 

 

“Tony,” James says.

 

“Please Honey-Bear,” Tony says quietly, “this sucks. But if I can do this, and it works out, then I’ll feel better. Things just feel...unfinished right now. I need to at least be able to say that I tried.”

 

His mind is made up, James realizes. He’s likely already sewn the seeds for whatever process he’s about to spin to get Barton back.

 

“You’re not like him,” James mutters, because he needs Tony to know. “And if you won’t accept that you’re better, then at least accept that you’re different. You and Clint Barton are not the same type of person. He left his family by his own choice, attacked Vision by his own choice, attacked us by his own choice, chose not to talk to someone who’s been nothing but a friend to him by his own choice. He pointed his bow at you instead.”

 

“Well, at least he didn’t use the bow that I made with him,” Tony says cheerfully, “used the arrows though.”

 

“Tones,” James sighs.

 

“I’ll be fine, Rhodey,” his friend states, bringing out his SI voice. It hurts James to hear that voice ever since Stane. “Besides,” his friend’s voice goes fond out of nowhere, “I’ve got a little stubborn bodyguard who also doubles as a surprisingly good moral compass.”

 

James snorts despite himself. Of course, the Spider-Kid. That’s one person that’s been nothing but good for Tony lately.

 

“And besides,” Tony’s voice goes quiet.  _ Oh no. _

 

“...What?” James asks warily.

 

“It’d be nice to see things work out for the Bartons,” Tony continues plaintively, “considering that I’m going to disappoint Pepper again soon enough.”

 

Wait  _ what _ ?

 

“Wait…” James says quickly.

 

“See ya soon Honey-Bear!”

 

“Tones, don’t you dare-”

 

Tony hangs up with an obnoxious “ _ mwah _ !”

 

...

 

The general public doesn't seem to care very much about one Clint Barton, Tony finds quickly.

 

Case in point; FRIDAY finds 95,586 articles related to the Accords fallout in active circulation when Tony asks. Impressive, considering that’s been close to a year since the shitshow, but not exactly surprising the continued interest in the Accords revisions and the sightings of the Rogues. Of them, 72,322 are opinion pieces (most that originate from outside of America tend to condemn the Avengers as a whole for letting things escalate like they did, but still seem to look favorably on the Accords. The ones that are American in origin are split nearly halfway in support for the Rogues versus supporting the Accords), Tony doesn’t bother with them. Of the 23,264 left, he has FRIDAY drop any that don’t mention specific Avengers by name, shaving off a few thousand. He then directs her to search for any mentions Hawkeye and Ant-Man. 

 

Lang, who’d pretty much become the face of the airport fight due to his suit, is mentioned by moniker in over a thousand recap articles, but his actual name is only mentioned in those that originate from American, South American, or German authors. Tony has FRIDAY create a separate file for them. Lang is going to be a difficult one, and Tony’s not even sure that he wants to undertake the uphill battle that rebuilding that idiot’s life will turn out to be.

 

(He thinks of the warrants being drafted for Hank Pym and Hope Van Dyne’s arrests in light of their recent decent to take responsibility for the use of the Ant-Man suit but denial to turn over the schematics of the tech to the Accords Council. Idiots. The entire lot of them.)

 

Only 94 articles mention the moniker “Hawkeye” however, but Tony is mildly surprised to see that not a single one of them mentions Clint Barton’s name directly. 

 

“That shouldn’t be possible,” Tony murmurs, staring at the holo screens surrounding him. 

 

“What shouldn’t be possible?” Peter asks curiously. Tony doesn’t look, but he knows that he has only has half of the kid’s attention considering the kid has been trying to discern why his left web shooter hasn’t been as responsive lately. Tony knows, having given the device a quick once-over himself, but he’d told Peter to find the problem himself. The kid’s chemistry skills are absurdly advanced, and his mechanical engineering abilities are nothing to scoff at either, but while Peter has all of the theoretical knowledge behind Tony’s latest design for the web-shooters, the kid has yet do physical maintenance on this version. Seeing as though it’s a Saturday night and Peter has already completed his stupid amount of homework for the weekend, Tony had provided the kid the tools and told him to go nuts.

 

“Not a single article accessed within the past 72 hours mentions Barton’s name,” Tony answers anyway. Because even though Peter is only half-listening, it helps them both to speak aloud sometimes anyway. “There’s a few that mention his field designation, but not a single one mentions the name ‘Clint’ or even his last name. At least none of the non-opinion pieces.”

 

“Isn’t that good?”

 

“It’s great,” Tony responds, “means that his reputation is salvageable and that Cint Barton can make an easy and quiet return without upsetting anything. But his name in connection with Hawkeye should have always been public domain information after the Chitauri invasion.” The man makes a few gestures to enlarge and scroll and begins scan through the articles as he speaks. “And definitely after the SHIELD info-dump. The fact that not a single recap nor academic essay uses his real name is quite frankly insane. He literally used  _ exploding arrows  _ in a public airport, someone from Germany must have put his name out there.”

 

“Maybe too much time has passed?”

 

“That would be plausible,” Tony admits, “if the band of Idiots didn’t get themselves photographed bringing down a building in Malaysia just last week.”

 

“Oh yeah,” there’s a click from Peter’s direction. He’s likely given up on finding and external reason for the web shooter’s lag, and is now digging into the hardware. Good, the kids on the right track. “Wasn’t it some human experimentation lab?”

 

“Yeah,” Tony pays special attention to an academic journal detailing the cost breakdown for each individual present during the airport tussle, “not home-grown most-likely, but it’s been a little difficult for authorities to determine where the fuckers were from since the Idiots set loose an extremely corrosive gas when they brought the building down. The bodies are borderline unidentifiable beyond potential nationality and race, and since the Idiots spirited away all of the captives that were present, there’s no witnesses to go off of.”

 

“What do you think they did with the people they saved?”

 

“It’s too early to say that they  _ saved  _ anybody, kid.” Tony says firmly, swiping the article about the cost breakdown into the “ _ Use me _ ” folder. “The substances recovered were highly volatile and extremely dangerous bioweapons with the intentions of using humans as carriers for them. Those people that they took out should have been quarantined and examined thoroughly, not just for their safety, but for the safety of anyone who’s going to be around them in the future.” 

 

“Oh,” the tinkering sounds pause, and Tony figures that he now has the kid’s full attention for the moment. 

 

“To answer your question though,” the elder responds as he looks through another article, “Wilson has advanced first aid training, and Lang has a Master’s in Electrical Engineering. Wilson will have likely performed a spot check once they got the captives far away enough to not worry about authorities getting to them, and if the Idiots had any modicum of sense, then they would have had Lang get into the place’s systems and download the relevant information. Barton and Romanov also have experience with both bioweapons and human experimentation cases from their time with SHIELD and before. There’s protocols for on the move observations that they’ll have used.”

 

“Romanov?” Peter questions, “As in the Black Widow?”

 

“Oh yeah, she’s totally with them at this point.” Tony responds easily, ignoring the sharp pang of betrayal. He shouldn’t still be upset over that. After all, a spy will do as a spy does. “There’s no way that they’re crossing borders undetected as easily as they are without her contact system. If they were still just moving through Africa, then I could believe that it was T’Challa making it happen for them, but they’ve been too spread out for him to risk using Wakandan resources to cover for them at this point.”

 

“Oh,” Peter mutters, “well that sucks.”

 

Tony snorts. “That it does, kid.”

 

“So the people that they... _ took _ ,” Peter settles on, sounding uncomfortable. “They should be OK?”

 

Tony takes a moment before answering. He feels bad about doing this in front of Peter. Because watching the information flow of the Rogues means talking about the Rogues, and Tony can’t help but notice that the kid sounds a little less excited about the Ex-Avengers every time they go through hypotheticals like this. But the facts are there and indisputable. And the facts say that Rogers and his followers aren’t able to do what they do without making concessions due to the fact that they are all currently international war criminals. And those concessions are usually something like this, the Rogues being able to help in the moment but unable to stick around to make sure that their help actually made a difference. Quite honestly, the way the Idiots have to work now is dangerous, and Tony takes no pleasure in seeing Peter slowly come to realize that the so-called Earth’s Mightiest Defender’s have chosen this method instead of taking the time to fucking listen to the people of said Earth. 

 

It likely challenges everything that Peter believes about being a hero, but Tony has come to the harsh realization that those who can’t handle the scrutiny and deconstruction of their actions as a hero don’t deserve to hold that mantle. Better the kid learn from these mistakes now.

 

“I don’t doubt that they’ll everything in their power to help the people that they got out of there,” Tony settles on, because he does believe that the Idiots had good intentions.”Problem is,” he explains, “there’s not much power behind their actions anymore.”

 

…

 

“So why is it that you’re not focusing on public opinion pieces on Hawkeye?” Peter asks two hours later, munching on some horrifying mixture of lucky charms, chocolate milk and honey. Tony had very nearly gagged at the sight (“I have  _ cravings  _ Mr. Stark!”), resigning himself to one of DUM-E’s smoothies. “I mean, seems like that would be important if you’re going to bring him back.”

 

Peter’s been surprisingly hard to read regarding his opinion on Tony’s choice to make a pardon happen for Barton. He’s supportive in the sense that he’s sure that Tony can do it, but never answered when asked whether or not he thought it was a good idea. Tony thinks that the kid understands his reasons (namely the Barton family, Clint’s admittedly questionable emotional stability, the ultimate goal of keeping the Idiots from going around and making messes that are hard to clean up), but Peter had seemed oddly unsympathetic when Tony had compared himself to Barton (“I don’t think it’s fair to you, Mr. Stark.”).

 

“It would be important,” he answers, “Except there’s a few reasons why it’s not in regards to Barton in particular. One,” Tony holds up a finger, “Barton was  _ only  _ involved at Leipzig, as far as the world is concerned. Only the Accords council is aware of his part in busting the Witch out, and Vision doesn’t want to press charges for that.”

 

Peter hums noncommittally, taking another bite of his diabetes-in-a-bowl.

 

“Two, He actually did significantly less in total damages compared to everyone else, and between me and T’Challa, the damages are all pretty much paid for. Three, I’m not trying to bring him back as an Avenger.”

 

“You’re not?” Peter’s eyebrows rise. 

 

“No,” Tony replies firmly, “I want nothing to do with him, to be perfectly honest.”

 

He hates how it hurts to say that aloud and find himself believing it. Because after Bruce, Barton had been the next one that Tony had warmed to. The archer was good company, made jokes and didn’t take himself or others too seriously. They’d worked together swimmingly on the field. Barton had always seemed to genuinely appreciate it when Tony would present him with a new arrowhead prototype or bow, and always had something insightful to add to the designs. And then Ultron happened, and Barton had gotten so close to the Witch, and distanced himself from Tony in those last moments before he retired to be with his family.

 

Tony’s not sure what he did, but all he knows that Barton’s time off had somehow twisted the guy into an angry and bitter version of himself that seemed to come out in full force around Tony for whatever reason. 

 

“I’m bringing him back so that he can be in his kid’s life,” Tony says softly, “they don’t deserve to grow up with an international criminal as a dad. I don’t know what possessed him to leave them and Laura in the first place, but they shouldn’t suffer because Barton made the stupid decision to follow after Cap on his doomed crusade.”

 

“So he’ll retire if you bring him back?”

 

“Yep,” Tony slurps at the smoothie before continuing, “he’s not enhanced, and since I have no intention of inviting him back into the Avengers under the Accords, then he’ll either be brought back under the conditions that he retire immediately and stay out of the field and disassociate himself from the others. Or he’ll be contracted to work for the government for a time period as a sort of community service.”

 

“You mean like the New SHIELD?” Peter asks.

 

“Hopefully  _ not _ ,” Tony mutters, thinking back to the tense time immediately after the Chitauri invasion. “SHIELD has proven that they don’t have the best resources when it comes to preserving the mental and emotional state of their agents. They had Barton sit down with a shrink for a few weeks to make sure he wouldn’t choke in the field and then instantaneously started him on missions. They like to keep their assets useful and controlled, and that doesn;t always translate to doing what’s best for them outside of the job.”

 

Peter goes silent at that. In the way that tells Tony that he’s having some uncomfortable revelation. Shit. What did Tony say to disillusion him now?

 

“You said that the Black Widow only ever saw you as an asset,” Peter states before Tony has a chance to ask. Tony frowns, not because he doesn’t remember saying that, but because he’s not sure why Peter would be so out of sorts about it now.

 

“Yeah,” he confirms, “she and I had never been the closest. In fact, I’m sure that she mostly hated me at first. It’s nothing out of the ordinary though, I was always one of SHIELD’s strongest assets, and treating people like marks is how Natashalie rolls. Doesn’t really know how to interact with people without trying to read them and produce the most advantageous response. Except for the Bartons, I suppose.”

 

_ And Rogers, _ his mind supplies unhelpfully. Tony supposes that he was on his way to that with her, but apparently they’ve never been meant to be that close to one another. Too much mistrust and baggage there.

 

“That’s…” Peter shakes his head, “Mr. Stark, that’s  _ terrible _ . Do you know how that sounds, from the outside?”

 

Tony is beginning to have a better idea of how it sounds, but gestures for Peter to continue anyway.

 

“You…” Peter swallows heavily, “You provided them with a home, and equipment, and resources, and you watched their back in the field...and you’re saying that she always tried to get the most advantageous reaction out of you? Mr. Stark, that’s shamelessly manipulative and wrong!”

 

The kid seems stressed over this, so Tony quickly crosses the kitchen to pat Peter on the shoulder firmly.

 

“I know, Underoos.” He says softly, “I know.”

 

“And you’re helping them!?”

 

“Well technically,” Tony gives a bitter smile, “I’m helping Barton, who I think genuinely liked me at one point.”

 

Peter huffs.

 

“And that’s not to say that Natashalie didn’t,” Tony continues on, throwing his arm over the kid’s shoulder. “I’m sure that she cares, in her own way. But I don’t make it easy to care about me, hence why I have like, two friends. I’m rude, moody, I ramble too much, and I never trusted her in the way that the rest of the team did. I think it rankled her a bit.”

 

Because that look she’d leveled at him when he’d called her out on her shit at the hospital hadn’t been all anger. Tony’s never been one to go out of his way to try and read Natasha, never really had an interest, but he’s always been able to hit people where it hurts when he really needs to. He’ll admit it, he doesn’t like spies, doesn’t like SHIELD Agents pretty much on principle, but he’d made an exception for Barton, Coulson and was on his way to making the same exception for Natasha. And he’s sure that she noticed. So when he’d rescinded that, basically brought them back to zero after all this time, he knew that it hurt. Tony tries to find it in himself to care.

 

He can’t.

 

“Any slight you feel that they paid me, kid,” Tony explains quietly, “it’s important to remember that I gave as good as I got.”

 

Peter takes a harsh bite of his demon food.

 

“The rules aren’t the same when you’re outnumbered, Mr. Stark.”

 

Tony opens his mouth, closes it.

 

There’s...nothing that he can say to that.

 

…

 

Tony’s plan is such.

 

If he makes his case to the Accords Council that it’s safer to have Clint Barton in the US as opposed to out and about with the Rogues, then there’s no reason that the UN won’t be able to help organize an agreement between Germany and the US so that the archer can return with minor reparations. It’ll be laughably easy, Tony and Fury had worked together to completely bury Barton’s mercenary/assassin past before SHIELD not too long after the team started taking on more public missions. And anything Barton had done under SHIELD could easily be linked and explained away via the National Security excuse (Tony knows, he and JARVIS had paid particular attention to Barton and Romanov’s files in the info-dump), which means that even if the promise to retire isn’t good enough for US, SI’s lawyers will be able to make a slam dunk case based on Barton’s years of service. The Accords Council only cares as much as getting Barton away from the Rogues and will likely be willing to defer to Tony on anything further. Germany will want the archer to stay out of the Country for a set amount of time, but that won’t be an issue. 

 

All in all, helping Barton to return will be a piece of cake, logistically and legally.

 

Getting the Idiot to take the help, though.

 

“FRIDAY,” Tony calls, eyes on the monitor that displays where Wakanda should be, if not for their impressive cloaking tech. 

 

“Yes, boss?”

 

“Get King Kitty on the line,” the man requests, “I think it’s time for him to pay some dues.”

 

“You got it.”

 

There’s a click, and then a hiss, and then Peter’s “ _ Ohnonononononono-! _ ”, which gets cut off by a  _ splat  _ and a high-pitched shriek.

 

Tony grins, affection blooming in his chest.

 

“So you figured out that the problem’s the canister’s pressure, eh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've tried to spin a somewhat realistic take of what it may be like for Team Cap to still be going on missions while acting directly outside of the law. So they're still fighting the good fight, but fighting the good fight generally goes better for everyone if you can commit to it, which I imagine the Rogues just can't commit to it like they used to because you know, wanted by the law and everything.
> 
> Speaking of which, I must say that the idea that Hank and Hope are somehow held liable for providing Scott with the suit in Ant-Man and the Wasp is odd to me, but my intention is to keep this story within the confines of canon (though I already know that it will become at least a bit canon-divergent eventually because I'm me :)) regarding major events, so I ultimately decided to include that.
> 
> Tony may not come off as the most reliable narrator at the moment. Neither may Rhodes for that matter, but remember that Tony has Issues at this point and time, and I have to believe that Rhodey had to have gone through a period of being pissed at the rest of the Avengers even though he acts like nothing happened in IW. 
> 
> Peter may come off a bit unforgiving, but to be honest, the team dynamics as they're presented in the movies do sound bad from the outside, and I feel like decent person would have questions like Peter's when learning about them. That being said, I reiterate that I do not intend to bash, but merely to explore the material we have in a deeper fashion.
> 
> Anyways, the next chapters should get into the real grit of the story, we'll finally see something from Clint's POV, but it will likely take longer to get out simply because it's planned to be a longer chapter. But until then, stay happy and healthy!

**Author's Note:**

> When I first saw Civil War in theaters, I was actually a bit underwhelmed. Coming from comic canon and seeing the Accords Vs. the Registration act, I personally didn't see that the intensity of the issue matched any of Team Cap's reactions other than Steve himself. I was very neutral at first, though I did note that Tony was not nearly as shady as he was in the comics, in fact I would argue that beyond not directly telling Wanda why he was keeping her in the Compound, he wasn't shady at all (and even that could be attributed to just a lack in good judgment as opposed to actual malicious intent). Upon further reflection though, I found that I couldn't quite get behind the way the movie handled things. 
> 
> I think I would have been OK with it if the movie didn't go out of it's way to frame Tony as an antagonist when Steve was on screen. Because the movie doesn't do a good enough job of pointing out when Steve is making a decision based on flawed logic or biased emotion. In fact, he's mostly rewarded for most of his questionable decisions while Tony's decisions (beyond the Wanda thing and the Spider-man thing) come off as very reasonable yet blow up in his face spectacularly. And it's totally fine with me that Steve seems to be rushing into his decisions in this movie based on emotion, and it totally makes sense why he's wary of the Accords given his character arc, but I think that his character flaws are mostly glossed over in the MCU and never actually end up causing him trouble, but Tony's flaws, Thor's flaws, Bruce's flaws, even Peter's flaws, pretty much everyone else's flaws fuck them over all the time. So yeah, I suppose I'm Team Iron Man, but like I said, I'm not here to bash on Team Cap, but I do think that their actions don't really hold up under scrutiny.
> 
> And another thing that I should point out just in cases it may bother any readers, I do not take the interviews and staff commentary as the laws of canon. I certainly like to consider it, but I honestly prefer to take what's been directly depicted and headcanon my way from there. So no lol, I do not buy that Iron Man was seriously trying to kill Bucky Barnes at the end of the movie. In fact, I'd even argue that based on what we saw, the catalyst that started the entire fight was Tony learning that Steve knew about it but didn't tell him. I firmly believe that if Cap and Bucky didn't try and fight back and double team him, that Tony would have maybe raged at Barnes a bit before telling them to get lost and out of his life. 
> 
> Wow, ok. Sorry lol. Didn't mean to go on and on. This story isn't even going to feature Cap or Barnes. Won't have Natasha or Wilson either, most likely, because they seem to get to IW through their own means and not through official channels. Honestly, this is pretty much an excuse to try and salvage Clint and Tony's friendship, because I think the way Clint acted in Civil War was absurd. Scott and Wanda kind of just latched themselves on for the ride. 
> 
> Anyways, I will attempt to update soon, but this was a bit of an impulse post so I can't really guarantee when that will be, but this should round out to about six chapters? Stay happy and healthy and see you next time!


End file.
